BDSM Terms: Simple Definitions for Every Player

Ever felt lost when a partner mentions a term like "DDLG" or "after‑care"? You’re not alone. Knowing the lingo makes communication smoother, builds trust, and keeps scenes safe. Below you’ll find quick, plain‑English definitions for the most common BDSM words, plus a few tips on how to use them.

Core Roles and Dynamics

Dom / Dominant – The person who takes charge during a scene. They set the pace, give instructions, and decide what happens, always with consent.

Sub / Submissive – The partner who follows the Dom’s lead. A sub enjoys giving up control, but they still set limits and can stop the scene at any time.

Master / Slave – A more intense power exchange. A Master holds broader authority, while a Slave often relinquishes daily decisions. The relationship is negotiated long‑term and includes clear rules.

Switch – Someone who can be either Dom or Sub, depending on the situation or partner. Switches enjoy fluid roles and often experiment with both sides.

Power Exchange – The overall concept of giving and receiving authority. Whether it’s a quick scene or a full‑time lifestyle, power exchange is the backbone of BDSM.

Popular Kink Activities and Acronyms

DDLG (Daddy Dom / Little Girl) – A consensual dynamic where the Dom takes a nurturing, protective role and the Little adopts a younger, playful mindset. Communication about limits is key.

MDLG (Mommy Dom / Little Girl) – Similar to DDLG, but the nurturing role is filled by a Mommy figure. The Little still enjoys age‑play elements.

DDLB (Daddy Dom / Little Boy) and MDLB (Mommy Dom / Little Boy) – The same dynamics as DDLG/MDLG, but the Little identifies as a boy. Again, consent and after‑care matter.

Pet Play (Pup, Pony, etc.) – Participants act like animals, using gear like collars, hoods, or tails. It’s about role‑play, trust, and sometimes a bit of physical restraint.

Pup Play – The “pet” behaves like a puppy, often barking, fetching, and responding to commands. The handler (Dom) guides the scene.

Pony Play – Similar to pup play, but the “horse” may wear harnesses and perform riding‑related actions. Safety gear is crucial.

CFNM (Clothed Female, Nude Male) – A fantasy where the woman stays clothed while the man is naked. It’s usually a power‑play scenario; talk about comfort levels first.

Age Play – Role‑play where one or both partners adopt a different age persona. It can overlap with DDLG, DDLB, etc., but always stays consensual.

After‑care – The care given after a scene ends. It can be a simple hug, a blanket, water, or a conversation. Good after‑care helps both partners recover emotionally and physically.

BDSM Toys – Tools like cuffs, paddles, ropes, or dildos that add sensation. Always check material safety, clean before and after, and start slow.

When you meet a new partner, ask what terms they use and what they mean to them. A short “What does DDLG mean for you?” can prevent misunderstandings later. Remember, every word carries a personal nuance, so keep the dialogue open.

In short, learning these terms is like getting the cheat‑code for a better BDSM experience. You’ll talk clearer, play safer, and enjoy more. So next time someone mentions a term you don’t know, you’ll have a quick definition ready – and that’s a win for both of you.